Eternals Star, Kingo, promotes Lexus cars to the imbecilic Marvel audience .
Kingo recently hit the road in his Lexus IS 500 sports sedan in a new promotional attempt between Marvel Studios and Lexus. The two-minute promo spot portrays Kingo as an idiot guy who would rather take a sports car to a battle when human lives are at stake, rather than use one of his borne super powers of flight or teleportation. Hell this moron could have ran super fast to the battleground! Instead, Kingo drives his flashy car and that gets him into quite the pickle as he can’t find a dern parking spot! Doh!
Kingo drives his stupid car through the streets as his teammates look worriedly around for their 10th member. As the battle rages on all around him he finds that he’s much more interested in finding a parking spot for his fancy car rather than help his friends or save the world. He receives a notification from Sersi to “hurry.” OBVIOUSLY. But Kingo dgaf. Not even a little bit, cause if there is flaming debris being chucked around, he can’t take the risk that it might hit his, most likely well-insured, vehicle.
As he continues to look for a safe place to park his Lexus S 500 sports sedan, his tiny little teammate, Sprite, calls him up and she sounds very concerned that he hasn’t arrived yet, and ya know they could really use his help against these extremely dangerous and formidable foes.
Kingo is like, “hey I shouldn’t talk on the phone and drive, I need to concentrate on finding a parking spot. If you need help, maybe call an Avenger or something. Okay, take care, bye bye now.”
Well, can’t wait for the Eternals to release on November 5th! I really hope Kingo can find himself a damn parking spot!!
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Gemma Chan, who plays Sersi in the upcoming Eternals movie, revealed that Sersi is “not like other girls.”
“I think this is going to be a really different, special film,” Chan said in an interview with British Vogue.
Chan also brought up that the director is an East Asian woman, so she actually knows how to write characters that are women. Unlike previous directors who believed that Black Widow’s only power was to shake her ass and make out with dudes.
The Eternals movie is about 10 different superheroes, but, like, obviously it’s going to mostly be about how Sersi never wanted Robb Stark’s dick, and once she gets Jon Snow’s D, she’s like, “Actually, Now I think The Red Wedding was my fave episode.” Even Kevin Feige was quoted as saying that “if there was a lead in this ensemble it’s probably- wait, what did ya’ll say? Sersi? LOL. Wait, stop that can’t be right! It has to be Ajak, right? Hold up! Now you’re saying they cast Ajak as a fucking chick. Dude wtf. Someone is getting fired.”
Wow, Kevin. Just, wow.
Gemma Chan shot back at Feige by saying that “Sersi is not like other girls. She may not be the best fighter, but she’s an empath.”
To which Feige replied, “A what?”
Kevin Feige then asked Gemma why she looked so familiar, and she replied that she was in Captain Marvel. To which Feige replied, “You mean, Captain America?”
Can’t wait for November 5th!
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SMDH. So I suggest you read that recap ^^^ because I’m not doing a summation.
Written by Christopher Cantwell, and art by Cafu. We’ve got a good one tonight ladies. I’m just going to start calling you all ladies even though that’s inappropriate. But isn’t GUYS inappropriate too?! I’m changing the rules.
God I love this comic book. There is something so soothing about a man recognizing his own privilege and a bad bitch who is around to pretty much slam everything he once knew into the cold, hard, gritty ground. Hellcat is my hero.
So turns out that Hellcat survived that entire ordeal back at Kovacs place minus a huge lightning shaped burn on her face, (Harry-Potter lookin’ ass) but in retaliation Kovac decided to kidnap James Rhodes, so he’s now using Rhodey to lure Tony to him.
Hellcat and Tony have a conversation about this and it goes exactly like this:
Hellcat: Is this Kovac guy smarter than you?
Tony: He’s one of the Intellectual Masters of the Universe, so no.
Hellcat: Okay humble.
Tony: You seem upset. Is it because you have a huge ugly wound on your face?
Hellcat: Well I’m being hunted and this wound hurts like hell.
Tony: I’m sure we can call Reed Richards so it doesn’t scar?
Hellcat: Do you seriously think I’m worried about my looks right now when my life is in danger? You fucking, bitch.
Tony: I’m just saying, it doesn’t look bad!
Anyways, then Hell Cat is like I’ve been hearing voices in my head, no she doesn’t say that. She should say it, but she doesn’t. Instead she says she feels fuzzy. Aw, cute.
Apparently, Kovac is a former cosmic entity turned android-with-lightning-powers.
So they’re arguing a bunch and it’s a lot of panels that look like this,
Then of course arguing leads to banging! Sure, I’ll buy that.
Meanwhile back at the villains den, they’re trying to mind-control Rhodey but he’s too freaking zen.
Kovac reveals his plan and that is to transfigure in the middle of New York City so that people can bare witness to his prophecy or some shit. But first he needs to tie up some loose ends including Hellcat and Iron Man.
Speaking of our heroes, now that they have gotten their sleeping together scene out of the way they’re having some nice pillow talk.
Tony is talking into the ether as men are want to do, and he notices that Hellcat isn’t paying attention. She reveals that she can hear Kovac in her head. Tony is like “are you sure?” Cause men never believe women. And she’s like “Yeah, mother fucker. It’s been happening since Oklahoma* (last issue) and since I was pathological before I know the difference. Ugh.”
So, now Kovac is ready to transform or whatever and his merry band of bandits are protecting his ass.
All of his bandits are super scared that they’re going to kill their leader because they are essentially giving him the electric chair, and he kind of blasts out with this lightning energy and probably no one would survive that, but since he is a cosmic entity, you know, and it’s only issue #4, I assume he’s going to make it.
Meanwhile, Tony and Patsy are on their way to Halcyon to get him to help them. Very undercover because they both are dressed like slobs. Anyways, Patsy gets a psionic nudge or something and she falls to the ground screaming. Drama.
So these two look into the sky and something crazy is happening, like this dude getting all powerful is happening, that’s what I meant. Yeah. Anyways, so luckily Hellcat can hear his head or whatever because she says they’re going to TAA II. And Tony is like “That’s Galactus’ ship.” And she’s like “yup, that’s what I said.”
Tony and Patsy find Halcyon and the convo goes like this.
Halcyon: I don’t race in the dark (I’m signing this BTW)
Tony: It’s me Iron Man, I need your help.
Tony: Please? Just find these second-rate heroes that I can bring up into the main issues, because they’re probably going to get their own series on Disney+ or like enter the MCU and people need to know about them now and I’m the only star who can make this happen.
Halcyon: I’m a math major at Columbia.
Hellcat: *Suddenly engulfed in lightning and floating above everyone* Don’t try to stop me, Stark! (this is Kovac, btw, not Hellcat. wink)
Tony: Yeah, obviously. Is she really mansplaining to me now?
Halcyon: That’s a man talking through her body.
Tony: Oh, right.
So then Patsy destroys a car by them and Tony is like “Hey stop that!”
Meanwhile, Halcyon is coming up with a plan while Hellcat destroys shit and Tony yells from the ground to stop. He hits a fire hydrant with a chrome rim that might have bursted out from that car she just destroyed, anyways, that blast of water knocks her down and Tony is so impressed he asks Halcyon to join the team!! HOW INCLUSIVE!
TO BE CONTINUED BUM BUM BUHHH!!!
What did you think of this issue? More importantly what did you think of this recap? Are we impressed with Tony’s journey? Who do you think will be recruited for Tony’s second-string league of heroes!???