Iron Fist – The Living Weapon #1

Iron Fist, the Living Weapon.
Hmmm…
At the end of the day aren’t we all just living weapons?

Hey nerds.

What do you guys think of the Iron Fist? I’ve never really been into him, but I truly enjoyed his Netflix show and I respected how not-awkward he was when he lost his virginity on it.

I received this Iron Fist digital comic as a freebie from…um idk some other comic book I purchased and then put in a code and BOOM! Iron Fist comic book in my library.

At first glance, Iron Fist is on the cover with two glowing, blonde ponytails. At second glance, these are actually his fists and forearms lifted up next to his head. I don’t understand what sort of idea he is trying to portray by posing like this, but it is not menacing whatsoever.

This comic book appears to begin by re-telling his Netflix origin story: Danny Rand, 10 years old, is taking a trip with multi-millionaire mommy and daddy on a private plane over the Himalayan Mountains when they crash land and young Danny is the sole-survivor of that crash. He is stumbled upon by Monks, who take him in and train him to become …

“THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST!”

Except that’s not what’s happening in this book. They’re telling a new story. One where Wendell leads the Rand family and young Danny on a trip through the cold and snowy mountains. The family and Wendell are on a trip to find K’un Lun. However their guides have turned back and they are running out of rations. Also they have a 10 year old boy with them which is enough evidence to call social services immediately.

Danny’s father gets annoyed with Wendell and shoots his flare gun to inform the guides that they need rescuing. This causes a massive avalanche.

He’s telling this whole story to a young journalism student, Brenda, who is getting a little too tipsy and flirting with him a little too hard. He takes her home and he’s brooding away sadly. Taking pills to help him fall asleep and thinking about how empty and meaningless life truly is.

It’s the little things, Danny. It’s the little things!!! Sometimes it’s like millionaires are the saddest people because they have all this time to think about the meaningless-ness of life instead of worrying about how they’re going to make their car payment all the time.

Danny gets up in the middle of the nigh pondering his past life, recalling the moment he saw his father drop from a mountain and the crazed look in his eye right before he died. Danny recalls how his mother would tell him all the time how he had his father’s eyes. This shit is getting deep. I’m touched truly. This is what I love about comic books. That close up on the eye and then Danny saying how he has the eyes of a madman. I get chills.

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WOWZA!

The journalism student wakes up and asks him if he needs more sexy-time, the answer is a resounding “no” as he jumps out of the window immediately after she asks. The girl will be forever scarred and it is going to take years of therapy for her to ever get physically intimate with someone again for fear they will kill themselves when it’s over.

Apparently the Iron Fist can fly, because he’s just soaring through the air as Apache Helicopters and ninjas come after him. He punches the Helicopter and it goes up in flames.

HE PUNCHES THE HELICOPTER AND IT GOES UP IN FLAMES.

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I’m sorry perhaps you missed the part where he punches a helicopter so hard it explodes.

The ninjas look a bit frightened now that they know what they’re up against, but they don’t have too long to think about it because the Helicopter explodes and shoots fireballs at them.

Danny returns to his apartment to find the journalism student getting shook up by someundead ninjas looking for “the girl.” He summons the power of the immortal fist, but the power doesn’t come, the undead ninja punches him, sending him into a wall. Sluggishly he says “Debbie, run”

She replies “It’s Brenda you Jer- Ayiiiii” as she gets whipped around by an undead ninja.

Iron Fist regains his momentum and fights back, all of a sudden his fist is fired up again and he wonders why it wasn’t working the first time, he begins to attack a figure coming towards him, but stops as he realizes this figure is just a little girl, an alive one(for now.) The opposite of an undead ninja.

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ADORABLE!! But why are the monks sending a 7 year old child to NYC? Like, oh you’re gonna love the big city, Lilly, tons of piss on the street, hookers, and heroin!

She’s tiny! And her message is to tell him to go back to K’un Lun and all the ninjas and helicopters were there to stop the little girl from giving Danny the message. She’s “the girl” they were looking for. Not Debrah. Or Brenda. Whoever.

Then this happened.

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NOOOOOO!!!!

Danny leaves NYC immediately to embark on his trip “home.”

Damn. This was good. It reminded me of 1980s Daredevil when he became this brooding sad man capable of murder. I do love a broken, womanizing pill-popping hero. None of these Marvel heroes can just be happy.

I read a “shower thoughts” tweet once that said DC are people trying to be superheroes and Marvel are superheroes trying to be people. And that statement for Marvel is like 98% true. When it comes to Marvel saving lives and the world and battling zombies is when the heroes come to life. Iron Fist is this sad man sleeping with random girls whose name he doesn’t even know and this is bringing him no sense of happiness but the second some undead ninjas show up he lights up! This is what he was made for. Finally! Some adventure. He’s not trying to be a human, he’s going through the motions of being a human and his “real-life” is the welcome distraction. He is a super-hero, he’s not a regular guy and him trying to be one isn’t working out, just like it doesn’t work out for Spider-Man, Iron Man or Daredevil. Deadpool and Captain America don’t even try. They’re just like, this is me. Take it or leave it.

I hope things work out for this immortal Iron Fist. I am way more interested in this brooding Danny Rand than the awkward Danny Rand of the Netflix show. I think I’ll be subscribing to his book and rolling my eyes at any rumors of a Iron Fist Season 2.

 

 

 

 

 

Defenders #1

I’m assuming that if you’re going to watch the Defenders on Netflix then first you must purchase this comic book series so you can find out what the series is going to be about. That’s how they get ya!

So we begin with some hot-shot drug dealer who looks more like someone who works in finance than drug dealing, and he is being pretty pathetic and trying to impress some ladies.

His plan to get laid goes awry when a mysterious man in a hat and trench coat shoves some laundry detergent down his throat, which kills him. Spoiler. Should have said that first.

Mystery man kills this guy with laundry detergent because the finance guy was selling to drug-users and it was killing them…I think. That’s not explicitly said but since finance guy was killed by the laundry detergent I can only assume. So this mystery man is some Robin Hood of sorts. Killing drug dealers and saving drug users.

Oh! I forgot to mention, he dropped some FUCKING DIAMONDS on the finance guys dead corpse before walking out unscathed as a security guard just stared with his mouth open.

That was the prologue, now we’re being reintroduced to Luke Cage. Oh my gosh I’m just realizing, did Nick Cage steal his name?!

So yeah anyways there’s an explosion right away and Cage (Luke, not Nick) saves two little girls, blah blah.

VEERRYY CONVENIENT because one of the little girls was just asking where Jessica Jones and it seemed that Mr. Cage did not want to answer that question.

Oh and there’s diamonds.

On the next page we find out where Jessica is and she’s been shot and so she’s in the hospital. We also find Daredevil hanging out in the ceiling waiting to jump down. Like imagine what he’s doing that whole time just waiting for Cage to walk in. He literally burst down from a ceiling tile. He was just waiting in the rafters. What kind of free-time does a superhero/lawyer have?

Daredevil informs Cage that he was also attacked and then Iron Fist slopes in after an attack he had as well. After one minute of trying to figure out who is attacking all of them Jessica wakes up and says it was Diamondback. The problem is, he’s dead. The good news is the hospital staff bursts into the room because the heroes set off a bunch of security alarms. I am at least happy that they’re monitoring their ceilings for uninvited occupants.

And, I have just turned the page and am now crying happy tears because the Black Cat, Felicia Hardy, is somehow going to be involved in this. YAY!

Luke Cage is the first to find Diamondback and they start beating the crap out of each other while Black Cat watches in horror. It turns out Cage isn’t strong enough on his own to defeat Diamondback, and his pals are at the bar thinking about teaming up. I think when they find out their best friend got beat up they will seal the deal.

Oh my this was good. I very much enjoyed this book and I like getting to know characters that are not as popular as others. I guess I’ll be following up with #2 and binge watching their netflix series this August.