A manufacturer of exoskeletons believes that Iron Man-esque inventions will be sold at your local fucking Home Depot and Lowes in the future.
So, like, comic book nerds have always figured that Iron Man tech could totes be possible, but like, not in a way you can fight crime in, more like in a way you can battle bots with or win first place a con costume contest. However with some people making exoskeletons, and Tesla robots running rampant, we might live to see the Age of Ultron yet.
California’s SuitX has already begun the process of creating exoskeletons and since this process has already begun and, we quote “HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY” End quote, and we also have quote “THINKING MACHINE SUPER COMPUTERS” the mainstream distribution of these armor suits are already tanking in price.
These exoskeletons aren’t going to make you fly or anything, and if Doctor Octopus shows up in your universe and you’re wearing the nanotech skin suit Tony got you, it’s unlikely that he’s going to be able to extract it for himself. The exoskeletons make you, like, stronger or something? Like, you have to exert less force when you’re wearing it.
These exoskeleton suits used to just be for the army, but then old rich white men decided they wanted to throw these suits on factory workers so they can work less people harder and not have to pay more human beings. Fucking capitalism.
Right now these outfits go for around $45,000 and they’re not even that cute.
But hey, if there’s a possibility for a sentient Vision in the future, sign me the fuck up.
Welcome back to another edition of your friendly neighborhood Comic Book Betch.
This Gwenom VS Carnage #1 is out now! I have high hopes for this run so let’s dive in shall we?
Gwenom AKA Ghost Spider, Peter Parker’s ex-girlfriend, and girl covered in living spiders, is going to college on a different dimension after getting run out of her dimension by evil Storm siblings. This we already know. She’s in college at Empire State University. She has three roommates that she loves very much, and the entire city is covered in Venom goo! Oh no!
She’s having some trouble rounding up these black gooey symbiotes because her Spidey senses don’t work on it.
Ghost Spider tries to save this guy from the symbiote goo. And of course the goo got him and turned him into a monster. So she heads back to her dorm to protect her roommates. But who follows her there?
None other than the dragon goo monsters!
Unfortunately, she cannot save them in time and they all turn into goo pods.
Then Ghost Spider is a total fucking bad ass, webs herself up some boots and rides that goo dragon like fucking Khaleesi.
Then she says she needs to find out what’s going on, so she needs Peter or Miles’ help? Why the fuck do you need a man’s help, bitch? You can solve this shit on your own. I blame the writer. Why even bring that up? We don’t need that line. Throw it out, burn it, bury it the in backyard. Mourn tomorrow because today Ghost Spider is lighting up this shit.
So as she’s crying about needing a man’s help, she decides she’s going to use her necklace to teleport back to her dimension because obviously the world is over here. Unfortunately something is fucked up with the transporter and I’m not really sure what’s going on there.
Back in Earth-65 however, Mary Jane is being used as a torture victim for the Jackal, who is upset that Gwen Stacey is gone so he’s gotta use this bitch as his second choice. Just like Peter!
He tries to douse her in the same spiders that Gwen uses to make her Ghost Spider suit. Because with his logic, the spiders are bonded to Gwen and Gwen is bonded to Mary-Jane, sooo, a friend of my friend is also my friend?
Mary Jane screams out for her friend, Gwen. And somehow they are bonded together and Mary-Jane is forced into the Earth-616 time zone.
So Mary-Jane in Earth-616 gets there by basically splitting Gwen in half, however Gwen is fine after she births the 20-something full grown woman from her chest.
Gwen was midway in the air while MJ came careening out of her chest so now she is falling from the sky and Gwen is just in time to save her life.
Unfortunately they fall into a pile of goo and MJ is immediately corrupted.
Knull the God of the Symbiotes is creepily watching all of this happen, hence the red in the last panel. I guess he sees everything in red? So how does he notice red flags amiright? He probably doesn’t date much amiright? Okay, I’m done.
So Knull feels MJ and merges with her. Yuck. So now he has taken over Mary-Jane’s symbiote body and she has become Carnage. HENCE THE NAME OF THE COMIC.
We’re off to the races now aren’t we boys! And did you notice that nice new Symbiote suit Gwen’s got on? Pretty sweet.
Will you be reading the next issue of Gwenom VS Carnage? Let me know in the comments!!