Eternals Star, Kingo, promotes Lexus cars to the imbecilic Marvel audience .
Kingo recently hit the road in his Lexus IS 500 sports sedan in a new promotional attempt between Marvel Studios and Lexus. The two-minute promo spot portrays Kingo as an idiot guy who would rather take a sports car to a battle when human lives are at stake, rather than use one of his borne super powers of flight or teleportation. Hell this moron could have ran super fast to the battleground! Instead, Kingo drives his flashy car and that gets him into quite the pickle as he can’t find a dern parking spot! Doh!
Kingo drives his stupid car through the streets as his teammates look worriedly around for their 10th member. As the battle rages on all around him he finds that he’s much more interested in finding a parking spot for his fancy car rather than help his friends or save the world. He receives a notification from Sersi to “hurry.” OBVIOUSLY. But Kingo dgaf. Not even a little bit, cause if there is flaming debris being chucked around, he can’t take the risk that it might hit his, most likely well-insured, vehicle.
As he continues to look for a safe place to park his Lexus S 500 sports sedan, his tiny little teammate, Sprite, calls him up and she sounds very concerned that he hasn’t arrived yet, and ya know they could really use his help against these extremely dangerous and formidable foes.
Kingo is like, “hey I shouldn’t talk on the phone and drive, I need to concentrate on finding a parking spot. If you need help, maybe call an Avenger or something. Okay, take care, bye bye now.”
Well, can’t wait for the Eternals to release on November 5th! I really hope Kingo can find himself a damn parking spot!!
-Check back often for all of your comic book news, comic book resources, Eternals Movie News, and Eternals Movie Updates!
Elizabeth Olsen recently spilled the beans on The Hollywood Reporter‘s Awards Chatter podcast!
I mean, this makes total sense considering she will play an important role in the Multiverse of Madness movie. Which will be about… moving through multiple universes.
But apparently, at the end of the final episode of WandaVision *SPOILERS* we can see her meditating. What she is doing is searching through Multiverses to find Tommy and Billy 😭
Damn telekinesis, chaos magic, reality warping, and now she can travel through universes? What the bitch can’t do?
I knew this wasn’t the last we would see of Tommy and Billy.
But I do have one question, if Wanda can travel through universes and find alternate versions of people, then can’t she find alternative versions of herself? And what version would that be okay to steal another Wanda’s babies. Da fuq? And who is to say that Tommy and Billy even exist in another universe at all? I guess if they do, let’s say there are limitless universes and 100 of them have Tommy and Billy’s. And in 99 of them they have parents, but in one they are orphans? I guess she could pluck them out of that timeline?
Am I thinking way too much into this??
Sorry whenever the podcast goes on hiatus I just can’t help but nerd out on here with my bullshit theories!
Thanks for reading! Leave a comment with your theories about Wanda and her universe traveling abilities.
Xoxo- Comic Book Bitch
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If you don’t know what’s going on in Felicia Hardy’s world during this King In Black Marvel Event, I suggest you check out my previous Black Cat Recap.
Now that we’re all caught up, you know that Felicia touched the magic wand that Doctor Strange was going to use to defeat the symbiote army, however since Doctor Strange was incapacitated Felicia decided to do it herself.
This issue finds Felicia trapped in a dark room with Black Fox, her father’s mentor, or rather, a dude who has taken on the shape of Black Fox? She believes that after she touched the wand she died, but Fox assures her this isn’t true.
He goes on to tell her that he is old magic and basically he’s there to see if she’s worthy of the power she’s now holding.
Back in the real world she’s basically on autopilot, or as I like to call it, “being blacked out from overconsumption.”
Or at least that’s the only time I’ve had that experience. I’ve never touched an Asgardian wand. But I do know what I’m going to call going out to get drunk from now on.
So Felicia is all “I need to get back” and Fox is all “Come walk through this weird chess room with me.”
Felicia heads back and forth from the Asgardian body to the Magic Box or whatever the thing is that she is in, and she kills some symbiote dragons. I can explain this by coming to from a black out, or if you watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia, then it’s called “browning out”
Fox decides to test her and find out her vulnerabilities and it goes like this:
Fox: When did you feel most vulnerable?
Black Cat: When my mom told me my dad died, but he was just in jail. So she a lyin’ ass hoe.
BC: Yeah rude af. But I guess that was hard on her?
Fox: But mostly hard on you, right? Like when Doc Ock fucked up your shit?
BC: Yeah that sucked.
Doctor Strange then wakes us from his coma and he’s like she touched it? GOD DAMMIT! Meanwhile Asgardian Black Cat is still mercin’ all these hoes.
Felicia and Fox continue their “deep” conversation.
Fox : You needed power, Spider-Man showed you that. But no one would give you power except King Pin
Black Cat: Yeah. I know, idiot. I was there.
Fox: Look at all these people who beat you up.
BC: This is annoying, shut up.
Fox: Are you ready to say yes to ultimate power?
BC: Depends on what I get.
Fox: Your family back together
Fox: Power to kill all your enemies.
BC: Cool, cool.
Fox: All your former lovers will love you again.
BC: Those fucking nerds? Hell no! Fuck you I don’t want it!
One of her nerds catches her from the sky and then Doctor Strange is all “wtf.”
And Black Cat is all “I almost took it all, but I really didn’t wanna touch Spider-Man’s peen again.”
Of course it does end there, a bunch of symbiotes dragons are flying towards them.
Felicia asks Doctor Strange to magic her buddies out of there because all she wants is her nerds to be safe. They get teleported away to safety and Felicia and the Doctor get ready to fight some symbiotes.
AND THAT’S THAT!
Their story continues in King in Black #4!
let me know in the comments if you’d like me to do a recap of that one. I do loves me some Black Cat!
Guess who showed up today? Speed! AKA Tommy, AKA if you’re watching WandaVision, one of Wanda’s twins. He looks just like Pietro, is slightly more annoying than Pietro, and enjoys the company of men, especially Prodigy.
Tommy came over to let Prodigy know that he actually did not die in the O.N.E attack on Xavier’s institute, because he was with Tommy that night and he has the steamy photos to prove it.
So it turns out he was resurrected without a body, which I guess means that there is another Prodigy buzzing about somewhere?
Next up, another lovely couple of sluts, Daken and Aurora are strolling through the halls, and they have a conversation and it goes like this:
Daken: You smell scared.
Aurora: It’s weird that you can smell that.
Daken: Yeah but I can only smell lust and fear, I can’t telepathically understand why people have those emotions.
Aurora: Well I’m lusting over you right now.
Daken: Yeah I know. I literally just told you I could tell.
Aurora: Oh, right. Wanna make out?
Aurora: Damn, ok.
Northstar calls his dog, Daken, over. Daken is tracking Siryn, as you know if you read last month’s recap.
Northstar tells Daken to get Fleet Seeds while he’s out and also warns Daken that he will kill him if he hurts his sister, Aurora. And Daken is like, “cool story, bro.”
Daken is following Siryn. Polaris is a dumb hoe, because Siryn tricked her last issue into lying for her, so although Daken is tracking Siryn to the States, Polaris tells everyone she’s in Barcelona going on a walking tour. If you didn’t say Barcelona with a lisp you fucking suck.
Northstar decides to split the team up to interrogate Siryn’s closests friends, and because half the team can tell when someone is lying to them, they’re splitting up into three groups of two. Speaking of lies, Eye-Boy notices that Polaris is straight up lying to the whole team. He doesn’t say anything though, because Polaris is sitting right there and that would be shades af. Northstar gets up to find Prodigy who was just boning Tommy.
Northstar runs into Tommy first, and Tommy has a lot of questions for Northstar because Northstar is really fast and Tommy is really fast, but Northstar is faster and also older. And rich. And a twin. And a Leader. And everything that Tommy probably wants to be/sort of already is.
So, next we get a scene of Tommy being really annoying and asking a ton of speed-related questions to Northstar, and Prodigy physically pushes him out, making me think that he might be the top?
Prodigy and Northstar get to their boring ass mission of interrogating Siryn’s friends. This mission proves fruitless. Her dad, Banshee didn’t even know that she died once. SO!
Daken tries to call Lorna AKA Polaris, but she ignores the call. RUDE! Then this shows up.
If you need a summary here it is: THIS BITCH, MORRIGAN, SHE CRAZY!
Next up, Daken is alone because Polaris is in charge of the only cell phone, or maybe she’s the only number that Daken knows by heart? Sweet. Anyways, Daken gets captured by Siryn, but spoiler, it’s not Siryn it’s Morrigan. The crazy bitch you just read about. NOICE.
Anyways, Morrigan beats the shit out of Daken and throws his body onto a spike, so he can’t fully heal himself and then while she is attacking him she also shits in his mouth. JUST KIDDING! But she does shit all over him, metaphorically speaking.
So, Daken is just chilling being staked like a common vampire. Meanwhile, it’s taken them days to figure out that Polaris is lying. But once they confront her and remove the psionic blocks that Morrigan- acting as Siryn- put in her, they realize that Daken is missing and needs to be found. This is like 4 fucking days later btw. So he’s been in the cold wearing his light jacket and jeans. What an idiot. This is why I always tell people to layer.
It takes Northstar all of seven minutes to look throughout the entire Tundra to find Daken and save his life.
Now that Northstar has saved Daken, it’s sexy-time for Daken and Aurora.
Daken opens up his heart to Aurora and it’s very lovely. So cute. They’re in love. I love this. And they finally kiss, I guess he’s down for it now after being skewered for a few days in the Tundra. They are rudely interrupted by Northstar screaming for Aurora. which he does ALL. THE. TIME.
Daken: Why is he always screaming like that? Can’t he just zoom in to see if you’re okay?
Aurora: He’s scared to lose me.
Daken: Doesn’t answer my question.
Aurora: He was trapped in Nate Grey’s false Utopia. It fucked with his mind.
Daken: My sisters were trapped in there.
Aurora: So you already.
Daken: Already what?
Aurora: You already.
Aurora: Know. You already know. It’s slang, from like, England.
Daken: You’re never going to make “you already” happen.
Aurora: You already.
THEN WE DO A COMPLETE 180. Which makes me believe that we are missing pages from this storybook. BUT on the very next page after the hot tub sexy-time scene, it is several hours later in the living room and half the team is dead. Only Eye-Boy, Daken, and Prodigy are the last ones left alive. And it’s mad creepy, because the killer set up Aurora and Northstar in this weirdo hex/witchy-shit type of situation.
AHHHH!!!!!!!!!! We have a serial killer on the loose!!!
What did you think of this issue? I am really starting to like X-Factor. Definitely becoming one of my faves. When do you think this run will be pick up by Disney+ as a series??? I’m thinking since they’re still taking storylines from 2005 it might not be until 2030 we see this in our living rooms.
It’s the last run in Kelly Thompson’s Deadpool! How could they do this to us? To me? To you? Marvel, you hate us, but why? WHY??
Welcome back to another edition of your friendly neighborhood Comic Book Betch. This week I shall be recapping Deadpool #10. And Guess what the fuck what? It’s a King in Black adventure again!!! When Marvel goes for it, they go for it.
Written by the hilarious Kelly Thompson
Art by Gerardo Sandoval
Cover by Chris Sotomayor
Deadpool, or King Deadpool as he is known by now, is lamenting about the King in Black and how they’ll let anyone be King these days, and this King in Black has left the city, and his island, the Island of Staten…why did I say that? He’s on Staten Island. Anyways the whole country or world or something is covered in black goo. Same shit different issue.
Deadpool decides to have a groupthink with his honor guard, unfortunately everyone’s pretty dumb there, except for Elsa Bloodstone, who, if you’re not new to this blog, you know that I FUCKING STAN!
In the groupthink they decide to form ANOTHER team, other than this guard, because the Island of Staten is full of monsters to choose from.
They form a team and then they walk into the room really cool like this:
So after they do their cool walk, these weird little priest monsters come in and tell King Deadpool that it’s the end of days, and Deadpool is like “Yeah. IT FUCKING ALWAYS IS.”
Unimpressed, Deadpool is about to walk away when the priest informs him that the monster that is here (The King in Black) is going to devour the King of Monsters as is prophesied, this gets Deadpool’s attention because HE IS the King of Monsters. But, Deadpool says that there is no way this is the Priests monster that they prophesied, it is a Marvel monster and it’s a comic book event, so instead of worrying about these priests and their dumb prophecies, he takes his team of monsters and goes to battle!
Then it gets really sad because the monster eats the snowman, who I did not even bother to mention earlier, but he’s cool because he only speaks in winter-related puns, see what I did there?
Shiny, the monster who shines a light through his mouth, opens his mouth and shoots a blinding hole through the wing of one of the venom dragons, and this gives the team a chance to regroup.
Then this next part is really cool. I love this comic book. Deadpool is literally such a great character and having Kelly Thompson write him!? UGH CHEF’S KISS.
Jeff the Shark touches the goo, and Deadpool is noticeably upset but he promises to find a way to save Jeff, Jeff is already turned though, and bites Deadpool on the hand. Elsa says they can’t afford to have Deadpool turned by the black goo because he is indestructible, TRUE, so Deadpool hacks off his hand. I love this comic book. Deadpool is the fucking best.
Deadpool and the team decide to do another cool group walk back into the scene, but it is rudely interrupted by Jelby, who left their group behind in issue #6. He comes bearing gifts though, a gift in the form of Jeff the Shark safely hidden away in a bowl of Jelby’s jelly.
The entire teams climbs inside of Jelby and they take on the venom dragon from inside of Jelby, Deadpool coins their conjoining as the “Monster-Tron” Patent pending.
Using a combination of butts and brains they are able to defeat the dragon symbiote monster, or at least they are able to throw the dragon into a giant hole, but as Elsa points out “it’s got sodding wings!”
This leads to the writer to doing a tie-in to a previous issue, and it’s all very romantic and beautiful and breaking of the fourth wall. As all Deadpool comics are.
As Deadpool fends off the dragon from below, Jelby jumps down to save the day!
He contains the dragon in his little jelly belly and Wade is forced to sever another limb to stop the symbiote goo from taking him over…but that does give me pause? Could these severed limbs come back as symbiotes? hmmmm…I GUESS NOT BECAUSE JUST LIKE ARMIE HAMMER, THIS SHIT IS CANCELED.
The day is saved, but there is still one thing left to deal with!
They take a note from Spider-Man and get the symbiote off of Jeff using some loud-ass music. And then Jeff is back to normal and so freaking cute. I cannot.
King Deadpool saves the day, and it turns out the priests were wrong, the monster will be coming to get him in 2022. A line is forming outside so that Deadpool can pay for the property damages he caused with all of this fighting, and Elsa gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek. All is well, except that this run is getting canceled and it’s the fucking worst thing that could happen to any of us because it is so good. I’m tired, you tired, Jesus wept.
Welcome back to another edition of your friendly neighborhood Comic Book Betch.
This Gwenom VS Carnage #1 is out now! I have high hopes for this run so let’s dive in shall we?
Gwenom AKA Ghost Spider, Peter Parker’s ex-girlfriend, and girl covered in living spiders, is going to college on a different dimension after getting run out of her dimension by evil Storm siblings. This we already know. She’s in college at Empire State University. She has three roommates that she loves very much, and the entire city is covered in Venom goo! Oh no!
She’s having some trouble rounding up these black gooey symbiotes because her Spidey senses don’t work on it.
Ghost Spider tries to save this guy from the symbiote goo. And of course the goo got him and turned him into a monster. So she heads back to her dorm to protect her roommates. But who follows her there?
None other than the dragon goo monsters!
Unfortunately, she cannot save them in time and they all turn into goo pods.
Then Ghost Spider is a total fucking bad ass, webs herself up some boots and rides that goo dragon like fucking Khaleesi.
Then she says she needs to find out what’s going on, so she needs Peter or Miles’ help? Why the fuck do you need a man’s help, bitch? You can solve this shit on your own. I blame the writer. Why even bring that up? We don’t need that line. Throw it out, burn it, bury it the in backyard. Mourn tomorrow because today Ghost Spider is lighting up this shit.
So as she’s crying about needing a man’s help, she decides she’s going to use her necklace to teleport back to her dimension because obviously the world is over here. Unfortunately something is fucked up with the transporter and I’m not really sure what’s going on there.
Back in Earth-65 however, Mary Jane is being used as a torture victim for the Jackal, who is upset that Gwen Stacey is gone so he’s gotta use this bitch as his second choice. Just like Peter!
He tries to douse her in the same spiders that Gwen uses to make her Ghost Spider suit. Because with his logic, the spiders are bonded to Gwen and Gwen is bonded to Mary-Jane, sooo, a friend of my friend is also my friend?
Mary Jane screams out for her friend, Gwen. And somehow they are bonded together and Mary-Jane is forced into the Earth-616 time zone.
So Mary-Jane in Earth-616 gets there by basically splitting Gwen in half, however Gwen is fine after she births the 20-something full grown woman from her chest.
Gwen was midway in the air while MJ came careening out of her chest so now she is falling from the sky and Gwen is just in time to save her life.
Unfortunately they fall into a pile of goo and MJ is immediately corrupted.
Knull the God of the Symbiotes is creepily watching all of this happen, hence the red in the last panel. I guess he sees everything in red? So how does he notice red flags amiright? He probably doesn’t date much amiright? Okay, I’m done.
So Knull feels MJ and merges with her. Yuck. So now he has taken over Mary-Jane’s symbiote body and she has become Carnage. HENCE THE NAME OF THE COMIC.
We’re off to the races now aren’t we boys! And did you notice that nice new Symbiote suit Gwen’s got on? Pretty sweet.
Will you be reading the next issue of Gwenom VS Carnage? Let me know in the comments!!
We all know Deadpool. Merc with a mouth. We all love him. And if you don’t you can get the fuck off this blog right now.
This issue is the #1 issue in a series of 6. I think. Which is great because I like these shorter stories that have proper endings n shit. SAGA WILL NEVER END THO THANK GOD!
So Deadpool is back to his roots basically of fighting for whoever has the biggest paycheck for him. His roots to me are his team up with Cable though. That was the first series I read where I fell completely in love with him. UGH it was sooo funny. True Masterpiece. All around great work. SPEAKING OF GREAT WORK. THIS PIECE OF SHIT WAS WRITTEN BY CULLEN BUNN AND THE MASTERFUL ART WAS CREATED BY MARK BAGLEY. BOOM.
Anyways out story begins with a group of soldiers or something on a plane about to make a drop or do something crazy in Bagalia and they’re reminiscing over the crazy times they had in Colombia. I wonder if they ran into Hit-Girl? Probs not because they would all be dead.
We don’t see Deadpool at first in the plane, but we do see his yellow caption bubbles.
Cause he crazy. Remember when he had three personalities? What was that about?
Everyone is chatting and two men decide to talk shit about Deadpool right in front of him saying they don’t like him. Deadpool kinda looks at that ginger kid and assumes they’re talking about him. Which, he does have red hair so its possible.
Now Deadpool’s vapors have made him decide to murder everyone on the plane. Which can’t be the plan can it? The boss wanted Deadpool on the plane and all but why charter a whole plane in the sky and arm these dudes to the T and then place one mercenary on the plane to kill them all? Like if you’re gonna go through the trouble of getting a plane that you know is going to be destroyed and you’re totally fine with that, then just put a bomb on there or something.
Deadpool stabs everyone while they shoot at him, which I don’t think gunshots are healthy for planes.
Deadpool waxes poetically about how the gunfire is unnecessary, like not only is it damaging the plane, they don’t just pass through his body. Some of them get lodged. And he doesn’t have enough fiber in his diet to get them through.
Then he goes on to shoot the pilots despite the fact that he does not know how to pilot a plane. It turns out all of this happened because of something that came about a few days ago. When he met Weasel in a supermarket.
Wade/Deadpool is concerned that someone is out to get Weasel because the Weese is being a bit jumpier than usual. Then Wade nonchalantly mentions that when he retires he plans on continuing to make scenes in public places.
Weasel is like “you’re never quitting, just like I’m not. It’s in our blood,”
So Weasel gives him the job. Apparently, some scary monster that used to be a part of the HAND broke out from the hand and now he’s built his own army of ninjas. But everyone hates him because he broke free from the HAND and you can’t do that without dying. Like the Crips and Bloods or whatever. Crime lyfe is crazy.
Then Weese shows him the picture of the guy who was on the plane, Samson “Scars” Green. He runs his own mercenary “outfit” with soldiers from various bs outlets like Hydra and SHIELD.
Weasel is like which one do you want to murder because we can make a lot of money taking either one of them down.
That brings us back to doe. I mean the plane. He’s standing over the dead bodies of the dumb ass mercenaries, as his plane crashes down into the territory of the HAND runaway monster guy.
SO THEN The HAND guy is like “shoot it down” to his minions, and they make the plane explode, but it was all a part of the plan. Deadpool strapped all the dead bodies into these flying devices and attacks all the shojen soldiers or whatever the fuck they call themselves.
Deadpool straps himself in too, but he’s still alive.
But he lyke broke his sword. 😦
He beats up these bald buddah wannabes and gets kinda upset because there are no ninjas.
Luckily if you think it they will come. So all these ninjas show up and he beats them all up!
From this scene we’re in Wade Wilson’s apartment and lil Weezy is there. With a name tag on that says “Jack” that sounds about right. The timeline is after the grocery store and before the plane. V CONFUSING.
Weseal shows Deadpool his new set of weapons and they’re pretty nice but you can be the judge.
Weasel warns Deadpool that doing two jobs at once is a little much, but whatever. Then Deadpool is like “erm I told you I want to retire and put down roots somewhere. I need the money to get out of this apartment and buy an island. I WANNA GROW UP! I don’t get the same thrills from killing anymore. I wanna have babies and get married. REAL THRILLS.”
Just then Weasel takes a mysterious phone call from a stranger who is demanding a dozen of something. The convo is mad awkward and is reminiscent of when a friend of yours answers the phone call of their significant other whom they have not told you about yet. IN FACT, ITS EXACTLY LIKE THAT.
BACK TO NINJA KILLING.
Deadpool kills all the ninjas despite the fact that they all have iron fists. Spoiler. He throws his baby deadpool grenades at them and they explode and their body parts fly everywhere!
Deadpool catches one iron and fist and says hrm.
Deadpool comes face to face with the Monster man who has tentacles btw. Weird. Anyways their convo is like this.
Monster: You look like you’re about to keel over and die.
Monster: You think you’re gonna win?
DP: No. I just assumed you would see what I did to your whole crew of ninjas and baby Buddhas and just run away?
Monster: *Sticks tentacles into Deadpool’s stomach*
The monster brings Deadpool close to him and looks him in the eye as he has his tentacles piercing through him and Deadpool is all, “bad idea.”
Cause you know he has a glowing iron fist, So he punches the monster with it and lyke this happens.
Deadpool punches this guy and passes out after calling himself the Immoral Deadpoolfist, sworn defender of Pepe’s taco house, eater of multiple nacho baskets. etc, etc.
After he passes out from using that much power, we’re in a new scene where he’s riding in Weasel’s car. Wade/ DP scrounges around Weseal’s glove box and pulls out an ultra ugly gold wedding band. I don’t get it why do people get those? Anyways, Wade is like wtf you’re married am I the other woman?? And Weasel is like Clarice, my wife, doesn’t know about any of this. But I can’t give it up because being normal sucks. Then Wade is like you’ve got a good thing going, don’t fuck it up by staying in this merc business.
A few days later he’s on his couch texting weasel looking for jobs. But he never responds.
TO BE CONTINUED.
What did you guys think about this issue? I was unimpressed. The quips were okay, but all in all I think everything could have been better. It just seems a little surface level. Deadpool can be so much fun and this fell flat. I am unimpressed.