Wanda Maximoff AKA the Scarlet Witch can travel through multiverses!

uhhhh what!!!

Elizabeth Olsen recently spilled the beans on The Hollywood Reporter‘s Awards Chatter podcast!

I mean, this makes total sense considering she will play an important role in the Multiverse of Madness movie. Which will be about… moving through multiple universes.

But apparently, at the end of the final episode of WandaVision *SPOILERS* we can see her meditating. What she is doing is searching through Multiverses to find Tommy and Billy 😭

Damn telekinesis, chaos magic, reality warping, and now she can travel through universes? What the bitch can’t do?

I knew this wasn’t the last we would see of Tommy and Billy.

But I do have one question, if Wanda can travel through universes and find alternate versions of people, then can’t she find alternative versions of herself? And what version would that be okay to steal another Wanda’s babies. Da fuq? And who is to say that Tommy and Billy even exist in another universe at all? I guess if they do, let’s say there are limitless universes and 100 of them have Tommy and Billy’s. And in 99 of them they have parents, but in one they are orphans? I guess she could pluck them out of that timeline?

Am I thinking way too much into this??

Sorry whenever the podcast goes on hiatus I just can’t help but nerd out on here with my bullshit theories!

Thanks for reading! Leave a comment with your theories about Wanda and her universe traveling abilities.

Xoxo- Comic Book Bitch

For all of your comic book news, comic book resources, comic book updates, marvel news, marvel updates, scarlet witch theories, and WandaVision fan theories

Season Finale of My Podcast, Relatable With Ilsa and Kyra!!

Click below to listen to my podcast on Spotify. This week we talked about Lady Gaga’s dogs, the stimulus package (what stimulus package?), No Way Home theories and of course, WandaVision!!

open.spotify.com/episode/3u0EDsk0xFv8Axus2oQCsZ

Conan The Barbarian Uses a Human Shield Against The X-Men!

And you’ll never guess who it was!

Or maybe you will!

It was Deadpool!

The best human shield in the land! He is knife proof, bulletproof, and even nuclear bomb proof.

It is nice knowing that at the end of the world, Deadpool will still be there with his little thumbs up.

If anyone survives the end of the world, I want it to be Ryan Reynolds.

Deadpool, Conan and Night Flyer break into the Hellfire Club to grab a little spending money. Unfortunately three X-Men (Ice Man, Calisto, Bishop) show up, as the Hellfire Club is for them. Soon Calisto pulls out a tiny dagger, that Deadpool scoffs at, joking that Ant-Man must have gotten a hold of her sword- she slashes at Deadpool and he falls into Conan’s loving arms.

I’m sure that Deadpool initially enjoyed this. Being caught by his teammate, and new friend. Finally someone cares for Deadpool! He must have felt warm and happy being held onto by those big muscular arms. I can almost hear him tittering now.

Of course, that turns out not to be the best position for Deadpool to be in. After they are threatened once again by the X-Men, Conan pulls Deadpool in tighter. Deadpool, probably believing this to be a nice hug after he was brutally stabbed, falls tenderly into the hug.

Unfortunately, this is when Bishop starts shooting, and Conan, with nothing but Deadpool to protect himself throws Deadpool’s bulletproof body right into Bishop’s line of fire.

Now, I’ve seen everything.

I guess that’s why they’re the savage avengers, cause that was savage af.

After that a battle ensues and ends on a very intriguing note. I gotta say, If you haven’t picked up Savage Avengers #18 yet, then what happens on the last page- a battle-ending blow- is worth it to get up now and scramble to the closest Comic Book store to pick up your issue!

-Comic Book Betch

For all of your comic book news, comic book resources, and Deadpool updates.

Boys Season 3 Begins Filming Today!

The Boys have officially begun filming Season 3

Pretty excited to see what happens in Season 3! I can’t get the image of Starlight, Kimiko, and Queen Maeve kicking the shit out of Stormfront out of my head.

GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!

I guess Stormfront is still alive according to the show’s creator. I wonder how she will play into season 3 if they decide to bring her back?? Can she regrow limbs or is she going to be crawling around without legs and arms and an eye?

This could definitely be there moment to rebuild her into a cyborg.

No arm? No eye? No problem!!

Let’s pray all the new Disney+ Marvel shows keep me alive long enough to see this new season!!! I will give anything to see Jack Quaid act in anything! Give him everything and protect Hughie Campbell at all costs!!

For all your comic book news, comic book resources, and The Boys updates

-Comic Book Betch

Coming soon…

Morbius 2021 issue #1 comic book recap

Deadpool #10 Comic Book Recap: Let’s Merc These Hoes

It’s the last run in Kelly Thompson’s Deadpool! How could they do this to us? To me? To you? Marvel, you hate us, but why? WHY??

Welcome back to another edition of your friendly neighborhood Comic Book Betch. This week I shall be recapping Deadpool #10. And Guess what the fuck what? It’s a King in Black adventure again!!! When Marvel goes for it, they go for it.

Written by the hilarious Kelly Thompson

Art by Gerardo Sandoval

Cover by Chris Sotomayor

Deadpool, or King Deadpool as he is known by now, is lamenting about the King in Black and how they’ll let anyone be King these days, and this King in Black has left the city, and his island, the Island of Staten…why did I say that? He’s on Staten Island. Anyways the whole country or world or something is covered in black goo. Same shit different issue.

Deadpool decides to have a groupthink with his honor guard, unfortunately everyone’s pretty dumb there, except for Elsa Bloodstone, who, if you’re not new to this blog, you know that I FUCKING STAN!

I can’t wait to see King Deadpool cosplay at a con.

In the groupthink they decide to form ANOTHER team, other than this guard, because the Island of Staten is full of monsters to choose from.

They form a team and then they walk into the room really cool like this:

What a badass group of monsters. And, awkwardly, one monster hunter.

So after they do their cool walk, these weird little priest monsters come in and tell King Deadpool that it’s the end of days, and Deadpool is like “Yeah. IT FUCKING ALWAYS IS.”

Unimpressed, Deadpool is about to walk away when the priest informs him that the monster that is here (The King in Black) is going to devour the King of Monsters as is prophesied, this gets Deadpool’s attention because HE IS the King of Monsters. But, Deadpool says that there is no way this is the Priests monster that they prophesied, it is a Marvel monster and it’s a comic book event, so instead of worrying about these priests and their dumb prophecies, he takes his team of monsters and goes to battle!

Okay, Kohlaab the Pile is definitely touching the symbiote.

Then it gets really sad because the monster eats the snowman, who I did not even bother to mention earlier, but he’s cool because he only speaks in winter-related puns, see what I did there?

NOT FROSTY THE UNMELTABLE SNOWMAN!

Shiny, the monster who shines a light through his mouth, opens his mouth and shoots a blinding hole through the wing of one of the venom dragons, and this gives the team a chance to regroup.

Then this next part is really cool. I love this comic book. Deadpool is literally such a great character and having Kelly Thompson write him!? UGH CHEF’S KISS.

Jeff the Shark touches the goo, and Deadpool is noticeably upset but he promises to find a way to save Jeff, Jeff is already turned though, and bites Deadpool on the hand. Elsa says they can’t afford to have Deadpool turned by the black goo because he is indestructible, TRUE, so Deadpool hacks off his hand. I love this comic book. Deadpool is the fucking best.

They totally stole this from The Walking Dead, except Rick is a bitch who can’t grow back limbs.

Deadpool and the team decide to do another cool group walk back into the scene, but it is rudely interrupted by Jelby, who left their group behind in issue #6. He comes bearing gifts though, a gift in the form of Jeff the Shark safely hidden away in a bowl of Jelby’s jelly.

The entire teams climbs inside of Jelby and they take on the venom dragon from inside of Jelby, Deadpool coins their conjoining as the “Monster-Tron” Patent pending.

I don’t know where all those lights are coming from, There is only one Shiny on the team that I know about.

Using a combination of butts and brains they are able to defeat the dragon symbiote monster, or at least they are able to throw the dragon into a giant hole, but as Elsa points out “it’s got sodding wings!”

This leads to the writer to doing a tie-in to a previous issue, and it’s all very romantic and beautiful and breaking of the fourth wall. As all Deadpool comics are.

He loves red heads. This is canon af.

As Deadpool fends off the dragon from below, Jelby jumps down to save the day!

He contains the dragon in his little jelly belly and Wade is forced to sever another limb to stop the symbiote goo from taking him over…but that does give me pause? Could these severed limbs come back as symbiotes? hmmmm…I GUESS NOT BECAUSE JUST LIKE ARMIE HAMMER, THIS SHIT IS CANCELED.

The day is saved, but there is still one thing left to deal with!

Deadpool already sounds like a dad.

They take a note from Spider-Man and get the symbiote off of Jeff using some loud-ass music. And then Jeff is back to normal and so freaking cute. I cannot.

LOOK AT THAT FACE OMG. OMFG.I LOVE YOU JEFF THE SHARK! I might get this last panel tattooed on me. Thoughts?

King Deadpool saves the day, and it turns out the priests were wrong, the monster will be coming to get him in 2022. A line is forming outside so that Deadpool can pay for the property damages he caused with all of this fighting, and Elsa gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek. All is well, except that this run is getting canceled and it’s the fucking worst thing that could happen to any of us because it is so good. I’m tired, you tired, Jesus wept.

Black Cats and Green Bats: Black Cat #2 Comic Book Recap.

Writer: Jed MacKay

Artist: C.F. Villa

Cover Artists: Pepe Larraz and Marte Gracia

Are you over Knull and his league of Symbiote dragons?

Well, I’m not!

This brings me to my wonderful recap, Queen in Black : Black Cat #2!

So the jist of issue #1 is this: Black Cat and friends were in the middle of a heist when Knull and the symbiotes attacked. The Avengers showed up but they couldn’t do shit, the most they could do was tell Felicia that she needs to save Doctor Strange because he’s the only hope in all of this mess. Captain America gave her this package that Doctor Strange needs to stop the symbiote and if she can deliver the package to Doctor Strange then he can save the world. Problem is, Doctor Strange is currently locked up in a symbiote goo prison on top of the Chrysler building.

Isn’t it lucky that my suit tore in THESE exact spots!?

Felicia and the boys meet up with symbiote expert Dr. Steve and the good doctor gives Felicia a prototype anti-venom suit. He had been working on these suits since before the invasion as he was warned in advance. LIKELY FUCKING STORY. Anyways it’s a combination of anti-venom serum and the lobotomized symbiote from the Absolute Carnage series.

Dr. Steve warns Felicia that the suits will basically dissolve at some point and the odds of her finding Dr. Strange in the symbiote goo faster than the suits will die off is slim to none.

However, Felicia knows a guy.

Dogs don’t play chess, they play poker. What an idiot.

With the suit, and a ghost dog, this mission is ready to begin. Felicia’s army of nerds gets her Goblin’s hovercraft to ride to the top of the Chrysler building and it looks pretty badass, I have to say.

Wouldn’t your feet just slip out of the back? What’s the point of those straps?

They make it to the goo prison and Felicia jumps off the aircraft and throws her ball of anti-symbiote suit-suit like a Pokeball and it’s binds to her, but she says it feels weird because it’s crawling all over her. BITCH, IT’S A LIVE SUIT. WHAT DID YOU THINK? You literally have alien organisms attaching to your body rn.

Look! There’s a black cat on her chest! AWWWW what a cute spot for a kitty.

Felicia and Bats, the ghost dog, land inside the goo ball, and although Felicia can breathe thanks to her suit, she can’t see anything. So how tf she gon’ get to the Doctahh? Luckily, Bats is like “hey hoe, I found him.”

She follows Bats through the goo and all the while she is just talking shit about symbiotes and how much she hates Eddie Brock and it’s all his fault, blah blah blah.

Just as Felicia’s suit is about to fail her and she starts wheezing for breath, they find Doctor Strange and she throws the Pokeball- er, I mean the anti-venom, er, anti-symbiote, NO! the SYMBIWON’T. hahhahaha. good one, betch. Anyways she throws that ball and the suit envelops Doctor Strange.

GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!

Bats leads them out of the goo and they fall from the sky, luckily Felicia’s nerds have the Spider-Man buggy and they drive up a wall to pick her up.

Here grab this pole I barely have a grip on. That should be fine for you and the large man you’re carrying.

One of Felicia’s nerds, Bruno is tasked with driving the buggy out of harm’s way, meanwhile the other nerd, Doc, his job is to wake up Doctor Strange. Black Cat creates the distraction by throwing bombs around, making light blasts, because symbiotes like the dark. Little known factoid for you all.

Felicia thinks and thinks in these black boxes throughout the chase scene about how they’re all just lowly thieves and caught up in a crazy mess and she just wants to steal, etc. Then this crazy ass mother fucker, Bruno, drives the little buggy off a building and they crash.

Spoiler alert: Everyone survives.

They regroup and their conversation goes like this:

Bruno: Hey, the buggy is dunzo.

Felicia: well that sucks cause if you look in this panel, there’s about a million symbiote dragons heading this way.

Doc: Panel, what are you-

Felicia: This package, you know the one that Comic Book Betch mentioned earlier? With the magic wand in it? We were supposed to deliver this to Doctor Strange so he can win.

Doc: Yeah, but why are you being so expositional right now? Who the hell is Comic Book Betch? You could just say “the wand” or the “package.”

Felicia: Shut up, Doc. Anyways, why don’t I just use it?

Bats: That’s a horrible idea. You don’t know what it does, also it’s magic and you’re not magic.

Doc: Yeah that’s a bad idea, you could die. Please don’t do it.

Bruno: Don’t do it, Felicia.

Felicia: ….

Bats: ?

Doc: ?

Bruno: ?

Felicia: I did it.

It looks like Doctor Strange’s collar is tiny arms and he is waving them around like ‘YAS QUEEN’

Turns out it was an Asgardian wand and it gave her a fucking GODDESS outfit. It even braided a piece of her hair! OMG.

DAMN. The whole ride from beginning to end was a 10/10 FOR ME DAWG!

I was not expecting this ending, and I am fully in support of an Asgardian Black Cat Goddess.

What do you hoes think? Sound off in the comments.

X-Factor #6 – There’s A Garden Full Of Dead Bodies!

Where else would they put all the resurrected bodies! This one is a hoot!

Wow. Welcome back to Comic Book Betch, nerds!

Today we are taking on X-Factor #6! I wanted to recap something from Future State by DC this week, but, although I didn’t think Future State was bad it was kinda just expositional, PLUS I just really love making fun of X-Men.

Writer: Leah Williams, penciller: David Baldeón

LEGGO

As we know, Mutants can be resurrected, SO the X-Factor is here to investigate when, how, and who killed these resurrected mutants! Cause when people who come back to life die, we should care! That’s the team motto anyway! The team is lead by Northstar, and the book stars Prestige, Polaris, Prodigy, Eye-Boy, and Daken. They got more P’s than Pippi Longstocking. Wait, no they don’t. They have AS MANY P’s.

Oh yeah. And Northstar’s husband, Kyle is here.

I digress. Issue #6 begins with everybody just flirting with each other and then Lorna AKA Polaris gets a call from an unknown number. The person on the phone wants to talk to Northstar, which is rude as hell. Why would you call Lorna if you really wanted to talk to Northstar. DA FUQ? What a waste of my time. SMDH.

Northstar tells the mystery person on the phone that the squad will be right there. And then they are at a scene of a crime! A death crime! The death of Siryn! Everyone is really unimpressed that she is dead again, because she just died like a week ago. PSHT. Gawd, give us some drama and kill Emma Frost or Wolverine or something. Geeze. You know what would be more fun? Mutants who can’t be resurrected. Then the murders are like more-fun murders! Cause they’re real!

Daken’s head looks like a thumb with a top hat.

It’s a crime scene so there is a detective asking questions and constables with adorable accents because it’s the UK. There is also a scientist collecting samples from the body. Daken decides to stab this woman stating that “we don’t authorize samples.”

Where is your mask, Daken! It’s a fucking pandemic!

So the scientist is freaked out because Daken tried to stab her, so she’s like “I was collecting evidence for you, mongrels. Yeah, I know what Daken means. I’m a learned person, bitch.”

Eye-Boy decides to check out these samples because he wants to know what or who killed Siryn! AGAIN! And he has all these eyes so he can see a lot of stuffs.

Meanwhile one of the constables is being a jackass and is really creeped out by Eye-Boy’s eyes and thinks the kids are dummies. Which they are not proving not to be considering Daken has now started sniffing the body and a baby shark just jumped onto the scene causing the CSI tech to pass out. .

Maybe that’s a shark, maybe it’s not. Either way it’s a monster.

Meanwhile, Lorna has snuck off to brood. Northstar interrupts her brooding by calling her out for brooding. They have a quick convo that goes like this:

Lorna: Siryn is supposed to be my friend. Why is she dying all the time and not knowing who did it?!

Northstar: Cause she’s a bitch.

Lorna: So I should hate her forever?

Northstar: No she’s probably lying to protect you because she loves you and you’re her friend.

Lorna: Oh. Okay, then I love her again. BYE!

Lorna Exits/ Daken Enters

Daken: Do you actually believe all the croc of shit you just told her?

Northstar: No.

….

Northstar: Hey can you do me a favesies?

Daken: Yeah, if you don’t call it that.

Northstar: Track Siryn and see what’s really going on.

Daken: What if she dies again?

Northstar: Don’t interfere, just laugh at her for a while, and then report back here.

Daken: With pleasure.

Next, Prodigy decides he wants to learn about autopsies so he follows Rachel Summers AKA Prestige to the Magical Dead Body Gardens to learn all about it!

Syrin throws a cop for some reason. I guess because he was being kind of a turd earlier.

Ya Bloody Dibble!

Next, the British Cop calls mutant’s scum, so Daken gets his claws out and the detective lady tells her cop to be nice to the insane mutants that can’t keep their cool over a few slurs from a weird, old, fat guy. Imagine if black people or Native Americans or hispanic people lost their shit every time a weird, old, fat guy called them a racial slur or told them to go back to their own country? Black people don’t have to say ANYTHING and they get shot in the head. Being a minority mutant is the tits.

After they assault some cops, they continue on their merry way just talking mad shit about the police. Right on.

Meanwhile Dr. Reyes is doing an autopsy on Siryn’s body, Prodigy is standing creepily behind her just seeping up her knowledge, then decides to be even creepier and ask if he can keep the body “for science purposes.” Yeah, like we haven’t heard that one before.

Damn he just LOOKS like a serial killer.

So Dr. Reyes is like “yeah that’s fine take the cadavers. Bring them to your Hanging Garden. Everyone in your group will love that. Don’t even ask them first. Just stuff the whole place with bodies. It will be fun!”

Unfortunately, Northstar doesn’t like it, but he gets over it…not without coming off like a sexy Zaddy first, though.

Yeah Kyle, we get it, your husband is hot.

Next up, everyone is yelling at Siryn calling her a dumb hoe and shit because she fell off a cliff and died when she can fly.

You know what, maybe she just wanted to come back and hang out with the X-Factor! Did anyone think about that!?

Lemme break down the following conversation for ya’ll:

Siryn: I was drunk so I fell off a cliff. Big deal.

Northstar: But it was at Krokoa’s highest point, how did you get up there if you were drunk?

Siryn: Maybe I got drunk after I was already up there. DUH.

Northstar: MMMHHHMMM.

So Siryn is all angry and she storms out and then all of the X-Factor are like “we have powers that discern liars and we all know that she is lying.”

Lorna chases Siryn out to talk to her because they’re besties, and she’s probably really upset that Siryn didn’t invite Lorna to bevies with the girls where she fell off the cliff and wants to confront her about it. They bicker back and forth, and then Siryn is UP TO IT with her and decides to hypnotize Lorna into leaving her alone. AND she adds that Lorna has to sabotage every attempt that the X-Factor makes to solve her mystery death.

Why is her hair so long in this scene?

I guess Siryn is bad now? And Lorna is going to aggressively attack her friends now because she was hypnotized, which happens to her a lot. Like, they’re probably going to figure out that she was hypnotized right away, right? Just cause that’s her thing? Anyways, idk. We just have to wait and see what happens in #7!!

Great story overall. Man I love X-Men and the X-Men knock-offs. They are absolutely a bat-shit group of individuals.

The Man With The Golden Arms Iron Man #4 Comic Book Recap.

Better late than never bitches.

I had to do it to ’em. Again.

If you haven’t read my Iron Man #3 comic book recap yet, like what are you doing with your life?

SMDH. So I suggest you read that recap ^^^ because I’m not doing a summation.

Written by Christopher Cantwell, and art by Cafu. We’ve got a good one tonight ladies. I’m just going to start calling you all ladies even though that’s inappropriate. But isn’t GUYS inappropriate too?! I’m changing the rules.

God I love this comic book. There is something so soothing about a man recognizing his own privilege and a bad bitch who is around to pretty much slam everything he once knew into the cold, hard, gritty ground. Hellcat is my hero.

So turns out that Hellcat survived that entire ordeal back at Kovacs place minus a huge lightning shaped burn on her face, (Harry-Potter lookin’ ass) but in retaliation Kovac decided to kidnap James Rhodes, so he’s now using Rhodey to lure Tony to him.

Hellcat and Tony have a conversation about this and it goes exactly like this:

Hellcat: Is this Kovac guy smarter than you?

Tony: He’s one of the Intellectual Masters of the Universe, so no.

Hellcat: Okay humble.

Tony: You seem upset. Is it because you have a huge ugly wound on your face?

Hellcat: Well I’m being hunted and this wound hurts like hell.

Tony: I’m sure we can call Reed Richards so it doesn’t scar?

Hellcat: Do you seriously think I’m worried about my looks right now when my life is in danger? You fucking, bitch.

Tony: I’m just saying, it doesn’t look bad!

Hellcat: -_-

Guess what? I’m still hot. Like that wolf-girl from Twilight: New Moon.

Anyways, then Hell Cat is like I’ve been hearing voices in my head, no she doesn’t say that. She should say it, but she doesn’t. Instead she says she feels fuzzy. Aw, cute.

Apparently, Kovac is a former cosmic entity turned android-with-lightning-powers.

So they’re arguing a bunch and it’s a lot of panels that look like this,

And Also I’m hearing voices in my head. Shut up! I didn’t say that! Nooo, you’re crazy!

Then of course arguing leads to banging! Sure, I’ll buy that.

I told you the wound didn’t look THAT bad. Would I sleep with a girl I thought was ugly? Maybe. But this time, no.

Meanwhile back at the villains den, they’re trying to mind-control Rhodey but he’s too freaking zen.

Kovac reveals his plan and that is to transfigure in the middle of New York City so that people can bare witness to his prophecy or some shit. But first he needs to tie up some loose ends including Hellcat and Iron Man.

Speaking of our heroes, now that they have gotten their sleeping together scene out of the way they’re having some nice pillow talk.

Tony is talking into the ether as men are want to do, and he notices that Hellcat isn’t paying attention. She reveals that she can hear Kovac in her head. Tony is like “are you sure?” Cause men never believe women. And she’s like “Yeah, mother fucker. It’s been happening since Oklahoma* (last issue) and since I was pathological before I know the difference. Ugh.”

So, now Kovac is ready to transform or whatever and his merry band of bandits are protecting his ass.

Psionic blast? That sounds fun!

All of his bandits are super scared that they’re going to kill their leader because they are essentially giving him the electric chair, and he kind of blasts out with this lightning energy and probably no one would survive that, but since he is a cosmic entity, you know, and it’s only issue #4, I assume he’s going to make it.

How can he speak with all that lightning coming out of this mouth?

Meanwhile, Tony and Patsy are on their way to Halcyon to get him to help them. Very undercover because they both are dressed like slobs. Anyways, Patsy gets a psionic nudge or something and she falls to the ground screaming. Drama.

Anything for attention.

So these two look into the sky and something crazy is happening, like this dude getting all powerful is happening, that’s what I meant. Yeah. Anyways, so luckily Hellcat can hear his head or whatever because she says they’re going to TAA II. And Tony is like “That’s Galactus’ ship.” And she’s like “yup, that’s what I said.”

Tony and Patsy find Halcyon and the convo goes like this.

Halcyon: I don’t race in the dark (I’m signing this BTW)

Tony: It’s me Iron Man, I need your help.

Halcyon: Nah.

Tony: Please? Just find these second-rate heroes that I can bring up into the main issues, because they’re probably going to get their own series on Disney+ or like enter the MCU and people need to know about them now and I’m the only star who can make this happen.

Halcyon: I’m a math major at Columbia.

Hellcat: *Suddenly engulfed in lightning and floating above everyone* Don’t try to stop me, Stark! (this is Kovac, btw, not Hellcat. wink)

Tony: Yeah, obviously. Is she really mansplaining to me now?

Halcyon: That’s a man talking through her body.

Tony: Oh, right.

So then Patsy destroys a car by them and Tony is like “Hey stop that!”

Meanwhile, Halcyon is coming up with a plan while Hellcat destroys shit and Tony yells from the ground to stop. He hits a fire hydrant with a chrome rim that might have bursted out from that car she just destroyed, anyways, that blast of water knocks her down and Tony is so impressed he asks Halcyon to join the team!! HOW INCLUSIVE!

Wow, a guy who never gets nervous as a super power? I honestly want that power. How helpful in just your normal day to day life? Damn.

TO BE CONTINUED BUM BUM BUHHH!!!

What did you think of this issue? More importantly what did you think of this recap? Are we impressed with Tony’s journey? Who do you think will be recruited for Tony’s second-string league of heroes!???

Mama’s Boy: X-Men #15 Comic Book Recap. Surprise guest: Daenerys and Drogon!

In this issue, Cyclops won’t shut the fuck up! We also learn the importance of wearing your mask and we find out what happened to Drogon and Daenerys after that GOT finale!! A must not miss recap!!

Remember when I recapped Cable? Well, we’re still in that universe for X-Men #15. Cable is a teenager and the X-Men live on Krakoa.

This one is written by Jonathan Hickman, Art by Mahmud Asrar, and Cover Art by Sonny Gho.

What a nice name Sonny is. Very nice.

Moving on, Cable has been taken and now his mommy and daddy are coming to save him! Aww. Before they jump into action to save their captured son, they decide to pontificate for a while on a random hill.

Can you hurry it up, Scott? Our kid could be dead.

Apparently it’s been over an hour since Nathan AKA Cable screamed out to his parents to save him, but they need to make one more pit stop before they go save him.

You think it’s cool to have the head of the X-Men and the most powerful mutant as your father and mother, respectively, but it turns out they’re just as awful as regular parents who forget to pick you up from pre-school so you have to stay through for the PM class, but on the plus side you get two lunches that day, and you never have to go back because now your parents are ashamed and afraid that they’re going to be reported to child services. Oh, wait was that just me?

I digress, anyways, so they show up to this round table of people who decide things because Krakoa is more important than their son. Cool, cool.

Our son still as one eye and arm left. He should be fine.

Meanwhile in the Otherworld Starlight Citadel, Khaleesi mother of dragons has pit husband and wife against each other in a fight to the death. Good to see she’s doing well after her death in Game of Thrones.

Glad to see Drogon is doing well.

So those ^^ two chat, and Apocalypse (the big guy) asks his wife to take off her mask, and she’s like “we’re in a pandemic” And he’s like -_-. So she’s like “fine” and she takes her mask off and they fight to the death.

Then we’re back to Jean and Scott who are telling this round table that Cable is in serious danger, cause he reached out psychically from Otherworld and it is nearly impossible to do so, but he’s in grave danger so, he was able to reach out from that far, because he is inches from death. But they’re also sure he can last a few more days if not hours.

The round table is like, “geeze your kid is dying that sucks…for you.”

Jean: Krakoa is also in danger.

Round Table: Why the fuck didn’t you lead with that?

So Cyclops tells the round table their plan which is to take a strike team to the Otherworld to get the people who were stolen back. And once the people are home they will close the gates for good so no one can attack them and they’ll be closed off from the world…s forever! Yay! Island quarantine!

Island quarantining is so hot right now.

So, the round table is like “that plan is dumb.”

Then Nightcrawler is like “count me in!”

Then the round table is like “no, you’re not going dummy. We’re a government and we can’t be doing shit all willy-nilly.”

Then Emma Frost talks to Cyclops in his head and she calls him “love” what a home-wrecking hoe. Or is Jean the home wrecker at this point? I can’t figure out these timelines anymore. SO I wonder since they had a psychic conversation not out loud to the panel, didn’t Jean hear? She’s psychic, amiright?

Then the circle decides that they’re just going to close the gates and save their own asses, and Cyclops is all “Well you’re the government of Krakoa, But The X-Men are the heroes!”

We couldn’t have gotten to this conclusion quicker? Your son is DYING!

So, they finally go pick up Cable from pre-school, er- I mean, from certain doom.

Cyclops is like : Jean, you ready.

Jean: Fucking duh. I’ve been trying to get you to stop talking for the last fucking hour.

It’s only my fucking son who is out there dying while you talk about nonsense.

So this whole time Scott has been talking, Khaleesi has Apocalypse fighting to the death against his wife, and we’re back to them and the wife is like “yield, you fool!” Then he stabs his wife. Probably because he is 300lbs and she is 87lbs, Didn’t seem like a fair fight to me, considering he is also an asshole. She’s bleeding out on the floor and Khaleesi is like “kill her, dude.” And Apocalypse is like “no, that’s my wife. It’s only cool to maim her, not kill her completely.”

But then uh-oh what’s this the wife puts her mask back on, and she’s back in the fight.

When you wear a mask, the life you save just may be your own.

Ah, so this whole issue was just a PSA to wear your damn masks!