Hey you ever wanted to be Tony Stark?

No, I don’t mean an alcoholic!

A manufacturer of exoskeletons believes that Iron Man-esque inventions will be sold at your local fucking Home Depot and Lowes in the future.

So, like, comic book nerds have always figured that Iron Man tech could totes be possible, but like, not in a way you can fight crime in, more like in a way you can battle bots with or win first place a con costume contest. However with some people making exoskeletons, and Tesla robots running rampant, we might live to see the Age of Ultron yet.

California’s SuitX has already begun the process of creating exoskeletons and since this process has already begun and, we quote “HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY” End quote, and we also have quote “THINKING MACHINE SUPER COMPUTERS” the mainstream distribution of these armor suits are already tanking in price.

These exoskeletons aren’t going to make you fly or anything, and if Doctor Octopus shows up in your universe and you’re wearing the nanotech skin suit Tony got you, it’s unlikely that he’s going to be able to extract it for himself. The exoskeletons make you, like, stronger or something? Like, you have to exert less force when you’re wearing it.

These exoskeleton suits used to just be for the army, but then old rich white men decided they wanted to throw these suits on factory workers so they can work less people harder and not have to pay more human beings. Fucking capitalism.

Right now these outfits go for around $45,000 and they’re not even that cute.

girl, go fix your hair.

But hey, if there’s a possibility for a sentient Vision in the future, sign me the fuck up.

XOXO,

Comic Book Bitch

Episode 34 – Our Children Are Serial Killers – Feat. BingetownTV

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-re2cm-1144ba2

The ReLadies are joined by special guests Jim and Brian from BingetownTV podcast! They are the resident Comic Book and Star Wars experts on their podcast so obviously our convos go a little off the rails…

In this episode we discuss the first two episodes of Hawkeye and reveal some fun Easter eggs you might have missed. Ilsa also makes Jim and Brian uncomfortable by asking them if they are afraid to have children because they might turn into serial killers. 

It’s a super fun episode so come and nerd out with us and our two new nerdy besties!!!!!

Raise your hand if you love internet friends!

 

Episode 33 – Eternally Yours

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-du3yj-112a42f

The time has finally come. The moment is finally here. Our entire lives had lead up to this –

OUR ETERNALS EPISODE.  Eternals finally debuted in the United States this past weekend and despite the spoilers we’ve endured leading up to the movie (thanks Variety), and the negative critic reviews (you guys need to stop being so rude) – we absolutely adored this film and are already counting down the days until the next installment. 

Please do not listen to this episode if you haven’t seen the movie. There are many spoilers. We ain’t sorry about it. 

Amongst the Eternals deep dive, we do jump into a lot out other nerdy rumors hitting the town right now. Another Star Wars film delayed? We will get to see a beloved Knights of the Old Republic movie after all (fingers crossed) ? A Black Widow crossover with Stranger Things? Daylight savings time did happen this past Saturday and it looks like it stirred up a lot! Maybe we are all in our own version of the multiverse now….

Even Typhoid Mother Fucking Mary Has Found Love

wedding bells for some top tier Marvel characters!!

Spoilers ahead for Daredevil #35

If you’ve been reading this Daredevil series by Chip Zdarksy, then you know that Wilson Fisk and Typhoid Mary have been slowly falling in love throughout the series run, and what began as a simple professional relationship has now culminated in a full ass-blown engagement.

Now, I didn’t see no ring. And sis, although Zdarksy has confirmed their will be a wedding in issue #36, the way it all went down wasn’t exactly traditional.

First off, this mfer don’t got no ring. He ain’t on bended knee and he never even asked the damn question. He said “will you?” And Mary said, “yes I’ll marry you.”

Bitch he could’ve been asking you to tie his shoes for him. After all, you are under his employ as his personal bodyguard.

Also where the hell did all your personalities go? Don’t tell me you’re pulling a Deadpool and just leaving them all behind?

Yeah, I said it.

Well, congratulations to the disturbing and happy couple!!

Lock down that ring, sis! Tell him you wanna go to Tiffany’s TONIGHT!

XOXO- Comic Book Bitch

Episode 31 – Dune, DC and Daddies

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-i7e7r-110e41d

Y’all I think we just had the most epic weekend of our lives – DC Fandome happened all while we were having our FIRST EVER live show and appearance at Wizard World comic con! We had an absolute at the con and recap everything that went down, along with some of our favorite cosplayers we got to meet. Carnage was one of them (perfect timing, considering we haven’t been able to shut up about the latest Venom movie)! 

The time has finally arrived. Dune is out tonight in theaters all across America and we can’t believe we’re finally going to see the movie we’ve been waiting for our entire lives. Go see Dune. 

The news just kept coming in hot this week, as we got word of a certain One Direction member appearing in Eternals. Big spoiler alert. Can you guess who it is? Hint: He adores you.

We dive right into a serious recap of everything that went down at the DC Fandome. The new Batman trailer, Aquaman, The Flash and Black Adam absolutely blew our minds. Dare we say 2022 is the year of DC comics…? I guess we’ll have to die another die to find out. 

Fuck Off Everyone

Eternals Fans Hungry For Blood After Post-Credits Scene Is Spoiled Online

Tell me why you had to fucking do that to me?

So, the Eternals finally made its world premiere on October 19th, which I will now be referring to as D-Day. As it is the day I died of anger, frustration, and hope for the future.

After the red carpet screening, one fucking loser ass journalist who thinks he’s fucking cool decided to FUCKING SPOIL EVERYTHING

A POST-CREDIT SCENE. And if you don’t know what the fuck was spoiled then please do not continue reading, because maybe you can have happiness one day. I certainly cannot.

Literally, this spoiler almost seems planted. Because how the fuck did they keep this under wraps for so fucking long?

Do you know what I’m talking about or are you ready to be spoiled friend? Literally stop. Stop now if you don’t know. This is your last warning. I only wish I had had such a warning.

Ugh I can’t even be happy about it. The one and only Harry Styles is now a part of the MCU as Eros, brother of that purple-dicked Thanos and cousin to Athena, aka Angelia Jolie.

I can only imagine how much I would have screamed and cried while watching that post credit scene but alas I’ll never get to enjoy it because it was fucking spoiled for me by some dumbass who works for Variety or whatever and I will never read Variety again, because literally I will never forgive anyone for this. LITERALLY NEVER. After the rude ass spoiler tweet was splashed across Twitter timelines everywhere, other outlets decided to tell people too. Just like me. Wow, the victim has become the victomer. Or wait? Idk I’m drunk.

I could have been happy. I could have cried tears of joy seeing Harry Styles revealed as Eros, but instead Disney decided that they want Harry Styles’ fans money. FUCK OUTTA HERE.

LET US FANS OF MARVEL WATCH A FUCKING MOVIE AND BE EXCITED. And then when we have all seen Eternals and the post credit scenes then some hack from an entertainment magazine can tweet out what happens. Then those fucking Harry Styles stans can pay their parents money to go see the god damn movie. You just want a good opening weekend and you assumed that Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek couldn’t bring in those numbers. And for that I am ashamed of Marvel.

I am ashamed to be an MCU fan, and I literally don’t even think I’m being dramatic. Death to nameless twitter guy, I blocked him on Twitter already though so don’t fucking worry. Pretty sure I reported his ass too.

I am so sorry to everyone that would have loved to find this out by themselves.

Fuck off everyone.

XOXO – Comic Book Bitch.

Tom Holland Was Rude To Me

Tom Holland Rude To Blogger

Tom Holland, pretend boyfriend of myself, personally attacked me yesterday when he described his third Marvel/Sony Spider-Man film as the end of a franchise.

Spider-Man: No Way Home star, Tom Holland said the third Spidey is the end of the trilogy. And that’s just fucking rude.

“We were all treating [No Way Home] as the end of a franchiseI think if we were lucky enough to dive into these characters again, you’d be seeing a very different version. It would no longer be the Homecoming trilogy.”

He then went on to say that if they did move on with the franchise it would be completely different from the original films. Like, I fucking get it, okay? I do.

But Tom Holland better get it to-fucking-gether, because Marvel is not letting your ass go. NO! *spoiler* Venom just licked your fucking face! You still in this bitch and you better get ready. We get it, you’re like 47 at this point and it’s hard playing a 17-year-old next to Zendaya, the supermodel created in a lab to be perfect, but throw some botox in that forehead and get applying to Empire University because I’m fucking ready for it.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT IN THESE TRYING TIMES. See you in the multiverse, Spidey love.

XOXO-

Comic Book Bitch

Episode 30 – A Dirty Thirty Affair

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-4fum8-1100eae

Welcome to our dirty thirty episode. 

We can’t believe either one of us have made is this far. We’ve got one hell of an episode for you guys this week and considering that this episode premieres while mercury is still in retrograde, we know we could all use a little laugh right about now. Thankfully, Venom came out this past week. Its like Marvel knew us spooky b*tches would be in despair this week!

We also discuss the season of finale of What If, the new prequel Game Of Thrones series and our favorite character from Wanda Vision getting her own spin off series!

We can’t WAIT to see you guys at Wizard World this Friday in Chicago! We will be hosting a small live version of our show on the exhibitor stage at 4 pm! Come say hello 🙂