Fuck Off Everyone

Eternals Fans Hungry For Blood After Post-Credits Scene Is Spoiled Online

Tell me why you had to fucking do that to me?

So, the Eternals finally made its world premiere on October 19th, which I will now be referring to as D-Day. As it is the day I died of anger, frustration, and hope for the future.

After the red carpet screening, one fucking loser ass journalist who thinks he’s fucking cool decided to FUCKING SPOIL EVERYTHING

A POST-CREDIT SCENE. And if you don’t know what the fuck was spoiled then please do not continue reading, because maybe you can have happiness one day. I certainly cannot.

Literally, this spoiler almost seems planted. Because how the fuck did they keep this under wraps for so fucking long?

Do you know what I’m talking about or are you ready to be spoiled friend? Literally stop. Stop now if you don’t know. This is your last warning. I only wish I had had such a warning.

Ugh I can’t even be happy about it. The one and only Harry Styles is now a part of the MCU as Eros, brother of that purple-dicked Thanos and cousin to Athena, aka Angelia Jolie.

I can only imagine how much I would have screamed and cried while watching that post credit scene but alas I’ll never get to enjoy it because it was fucking spoiled for me by some dumbass who works for Variety or whatever and I will never read Variety again, because literally I will never forgive anyone for this. LITERALLY NEVER. After the rude ass spoiler tweet was splashed across Twitter timelines everywhere, other outlets decided to tell people too. Just like me. Wow, the victim has become the victomer. Or wait? Idk I’m drunk.

I could have been happy. I could have cried tears of joy seeing Harry Styles revealed as Eros, but instead Disney decided that they want Harry Styles’ fans money. FUCK OUTTA HERE.

LET US FANS OF MARVEL WATCH A FUCKING MOVIE AND BE EXCITED. And then when we have all seen Eternals and the post credit scenes then some hack from an entertainment magazine can tweet out what happens. Then those fucking Harry Styles stans can pay their parents money to go see the god damn movie. You just want a good opening weekend and you assumed that Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek couldn’t bring in those numbers. And for that I am ashamed of Marvel.

I am ashamed to be an MCU fan, and I literally don’t even think I’m being dramatic. Death to nameless twitter guy, I blocked him on Twitter already though so don’t fucking worry. Pretty sure I reported his ass too.

I am so sorry to everyone that would have loved to find this out by themselves.

Fuck off everyone.

XOXO – Comic Book Bitch.

Author: Comic Book Bitch

Comedian and comic book enthusiast.

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