IceMan #1

I was almost deterred from picking up this book because the cover reminded me of chibi. That anime-shit. And don’t get me wrong, I love anime but I never understood why they would get angry and start looking like this.

angry chibi
Why you get smol when you get angry?



Luckily I opened the actual book and it was your typical X-Men comic so I was like heck yes and bought it. And then I started to really appreciate the cover and the saying to “never judge a book by a cover.” which I never believed in until today. Always go with your gut instinct. If you think they’re a serial killer, they are. But now I might just get into a stranger’s vehicle…

So as we know, the original X-Men have been “time displaced” so there’s a second Iceman here too. And that gets very confusing for me. Luckily our main character wears clothes while his displaced-time mini-me opts for a more au natural look. And I’m thankful for this but also still confused.

The time-displaced one has a boyfriend. I have no idea why or how this happened, because I was pretty sure that Iceman came out so much later than his replacement. I am probably missing a huge chunk of story and please if you follow this story, feel free to butcher me in the comments.

OKAY! So this is very adorable. Not only does this comic begin as his gay-dating profile, but it climaxes at a text from his mother telling him his father just had an attack that was of the heart variety but not an actual heart attack. IDK. Ask Marvel. Not me. They hire multiple trained doctors to oversee every story, I hire 0 for this blog.

Only one of those statements is true.


Poor Bobby, his mom and dad don’t really care that he’s there for them, because he missed his mom’s birthday because he was saving the world.

They have a point, doe. If it wasn’t for your mom you wouldn’t even be in this world to save.

Like how many times has your mother threatened “I brought you into this world, I’ll take you out.”? If the answer is none you need to sort out your priorities because your mother gave you too much credit.

Bobby’s parents decided to spring onto him on the hospital that they also sold his childhood home and live somewhere else now.


SORRY we only have two extra bedrooms as opposed to five and now the indoor pool is an outdoor pool!

While Bob is visiting his fam, a robot breaks in to destroy him, natch,

He goes all Iceman on this phony’s ass and saves the lives of all of the civilians and doctors .

BUT because he got all Iceman-y in the hospital, his mother and father decide it would be best if he left so they can keep a low-profile.

Bobby daydreams about a life where his parents are proud of him for being a FUCKING X-MAN and also where they are excited to meet his boyfriend.

You know why I’m excited for this comic book?

Because not only does he have to deal with the stigmatism of being a mutant, he is also gay.

You know why I’m super pumped for this comic more than anything in the world?

It is because it will be written by a gay man. And he’s not just a gay man, he’s a comic book writer. Gay is normal, and comic books are FABULOUS! And I just want the world to know this.

Author: Comic Book Bitch

Comedian and comic book enthusiast.

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